Beer List: December 11-December 16.

Tax Evader – Double IPA made with jaggery and a staggering amount of hops. Much smoother than it needs to be. 11.0% ABV.

Mahlab E.S.B. –This malty beer smells like sweet Turkish baked goods thanks to the inclusion of mahlab, the pits of st lucie cherries.  The beer finishes very crisp because that’s how cherry pits work. CHRIS ANGEL, M*ND FR**K. 5.3% ABV 

Coffee Dunk Basketball Move – Imperial dunkelweizen made with a smooth, rich cold brew coffee from our pals at COMA coffee. 6.8% ABV

Coffee Dead Druid King – HYPE ALERT!  Coffee variant of our annual oak leaf gruit.  WILL BE GONE BY SUNDAY. 7.4% ABV

Krampus Gruit – Hopless beer made with peppermint, chile piquin and elderberries!  HAIL CHRISTMAS SATAN! 6.3% ABV

Lord Beefer, V2– Tax Evader double IPA aged in Pinckney Bend gin barrels. 11.5% ABV

Meteor IPA – Flagship IPA from the brewery least likely to have one.  Complex malty body and relatively subdued American hop profile because we’re ripping off 90s west coast IPAs. 5.1% ABV 

Midnite Mass – The blackest of stouts.  Simultaneously rich and bitter, like the guy that made minecraft. 5.7% ABV

Coffee Basketball Move – Our big ol dunkelweizen, made with COMA coffee this year!  It’s amber, nutty and full-bodied. 6.8% ABV

Saison of the Witch –  It’s a black saison. SPOOOOOOOOKY MAN. 8.0% ABV

Earthbound Blonde – Our flagship blonde, made with cardamom, telicherry pepper and black tea. It’s awesome, trust. 5.1% ABV

Gruit out of Hell –  Our only pumpkin beer.  Generous helping of beets, sumac, yarrow and chipotle peppers. The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling way down in the valley tonight5.7% ABV

Satellite Gruit –  This hopless beer was brewed in collaboration with Ryan, Satellite’s resident cocktail genius.  Dark, bitter, complex. 5.2% ABV


  • Beer! In cans! Earthbound Blonde, Meteor IPA and Irish Red!
  • $10/4pk, $3 singles.

Guest beers:

  • Seattle Semi-Sweet Cider
  • Stag ($3 pour, for your uncle)


  • James Cabernet, California $8
  • Codice Temperanillo, Spain $8
  • Wilderkrans Chenin blanc, South Africa $8
  • Evolucio Furmint Tokaj, Hungary $8
  • Pamplune Grapefruit Rose, France $8

Non-alcoholic beverages:

  • Coke $2
  • Sprite $2
  • Well-being N/A $5


  • Lapsang Souchong: Smoky black tea, tongue-numbing and perfect $4
  • Peach Ginger: Strong start, long finish.  Just like the 7th game in the NBA finals $4
  • Mash Cranberry Pear: This fruit-infused black tea will bring a little summer to your nose hairs and also your taste buds. $4
  • Keemun:  Mellow and floral black tea.  Folks, it’s a good one! $4